Promise
by Obi the Kid
Summary: Post-TPM. Non-Slash. One month after Qui-Gon's death, Obi-Wan and Bren try to move on with their lives.


TITLE: Promise  
AUTHOR: Obi the Kid (hlnkid@aol.com)  
RATING: PG  
SUMMARY: Post-TPM. Non-Slash. One month after Qui-Gon's death, Obi-Wan and Bren try to move on with their lives.  
ARCHIVE: Please ask me first.  
FEEDBACK: Always appreciated.  
MY WEBSITE: http://www.angelfire.com/movies/obithekid/  
DISCLAIMER: The characters and venue of Star Wars are copyrighted to Lucas Films Limited. The characters not recognizable from this venue are copyrighted to Tracy C. Knight. The story is the intellectual property of Tracy C. Knight and is copyrighted to her. She makes no profit from the writing or distribution of this story.  
  
NOTE: This is a sequel to my stories "Empty" and "Failure." Both can be found on my website.  
  
========  
Promise  
========  
  
Obi-Wan Kenobi stood in the docking bay. He was impatient. Always impatient. He recalled the words of his master, 'Patience, Padawan. We must be patient.' A small smile formed on his lips as an image of Qui-Gon flashed through his mind. One month had passed since the battle on Naboo. That day when the young Jedi's life changed forever.   
  
His good friend, Knight Taash Evram had been to see him a week after Qui-Gon's death. He offered a supportive voice and an emotional release. Taash had been called away shortly after that visit, but before he left, he'd arranged with the council to have Master Bren Anders return home. A reprieve from her teaching assignment on Rahalan. Taash knew that in order for Obi-Wan to move on and to find closure, this was one person that he needed to reach out to.   
  
Her two-week trek from Rahalan to Coruscant would touch down today.  
  
Anakin stood quietly with his master as they waited. Obi-Wan had begun the first stages of training with the boy. Relations between the two were friendly, but strained. Yet Obi-Wan was determined to fulfill his promise to Qui-Gon.   
  
Obi-Wan's eyes followed the descent of a large transport ship that was on final approach. His breathing quickened a bit as his heart began racing.   
  
Anakin looked up at him. "Master, are you okay?"  
  
"Yes, Anakin. Just anxious to see an old friend," he answered without taking his eyes from the ship.   
  
The transport rattled slightly as it clanged against the metal of the landing platform. The engine slowly shut down and the passengers began to make their way down the ramp. Obi-Wan smiled as he saw a familiar figure coming towards him. He ignored the few tears that now streamed down his cheeks as he moved to meet Master Anders. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around her in a crushing embrace. It gave him a feeling of comfort and love that he never wanted to see end. Bren returned the gesture, holding Obi-Wan in her arms as she had done so many times before. The day he became Qui-Gon's padawan, Obi-Wan also became a part of Bren's family. It was something they would always have.  
  
Still locked in the embrace, Bren was the first to break the silence. "I've missed you, Obi-Wan. I'm sorry it took me so long to get here."  
  
"I missed you too, Master Bren. I'm so glad to see you."   
  
Each released their hold on the other and wiped the tears away. Bren looked down to see the small blonde-haired boy standing behind Obi-Wan. Kenobi realized that he'd completely forgotten about his apprentice and turned towards the boy. "Oh, Master Bren, this is my apprentice. Anakin Skywalker, meet Master Bren Anders. A close friend to both myself and Master Qui-Gon."  
  
"Nice to meet you Master Bren."  
  
"Hi, Anakin. How's life as a padawan thus far?"  
  
"Tiring. But Master Obi-Wan is a good teacher."  
  
"I bet he is."  
  
Obi-Wan put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Anakin, you are to meet Master Kloon shortly, correct?"  
  
"Yes, Master. I am supposed to train with him all day."  
  
"Okay, Master Bren and I will walk you to the training area and I will leave you in his care."  
  
"Yes, Master."  
  
Bren saw the look of uncertainty in the knight's face. She could tell he was lost and not totally convinced that he was ready for an apprentice of his own. But she followed his lead and walked with he and Anakin to meet Master Kloon.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
With Anakin in training for the day, the elder master could feel some of Obi-Wan's obvious tension being released. Almost like he was relieved to be rid of the boy. Bren didn't say anything, but she knew how adapt Obi-Wan was at putting on a brave face and refusing help even when he knew that he needed it. And right now, it was not her place to force the issue. They needed to be supportive of each other. Obi-Wan had enough doubts of his own to deal with. If he wished to talk about it, she would listen. But she refused to break him down any further than Qui-Gon's death already had.  
  
Obi-Wan showed Bren into the apartment she knew so well. Only this time, there was no familiar baritone voice to greet her. There was only empty silence. Things inside the quarters looked the same. The only rooms that Obi-Wan had changed were the bedrooms, he having moved into what used to be Qui-Gon's room so that Anakin could take his old bedroom.   
  
"I see you've polished up on your cleaning skills," Bren said with a grin. "I don't recall this apartment ever looking so clean."  
  
"It keeps my mind occupied during those times when things are to quiet. I guess part of Qui-Gon did rub off on me." His voice was steady but filled with sadness.  
  
Bren kept moving, taking things in. She entered Qui-Gon's old room. It had the young knight's touch, but there was something here that was distinctively Qui-Gon. "You kept his books."  
  
"I know I should probably pack them up along with some of this other stuff that was his, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Taash helped me pack some things, but this is the one place where I can go and lose myself completely. I can think about my past and not feel like there are all these eyes on. Watching my every move to see if I fail or not. I feel safe here. And it reminds me of Qui-Gon. I can't let him go just yet."  
  
"You don't ever let him go, Obi-Wan. Always hold him close to you. His teachings will carry you. But his memory will comfort you when nothing else can. That's all we have left."  
  
Obi-Wan nodded as he watched Bren pick up the holo of the three of them together. She smiled at the scene. "I remember the day we had this taken. He told me that you would be ready for your trials soon and that he wanted a day with just you and I where we could all relax and not worry about missions or the council or anything stressing. I think I can recall every detail of that day."  
  
"Yes," was all the young Jedi could bring himself to say for fear of having to start the grieving process all over again.   
  
Several minutes passed and the pair made their way into the common area. "Master Bren, can I get you some tea?"  
  
"Obi-Wan, please. Call me Bren. You are no longer an apprentice. And yes, I would love some, thank you." She watched him for a few seconds. His hair still short, but it was obvious that he was letting his padawan cut grow out. And she thought she'd seen a few stray hairs trying to make themselves visible on his chin. **Longer hair and a beard.** She mused. **Just like his master.**   
  
Pulled out of her thoughts by the feel of a hot cup in her hands, Bren sipped at the steaming liquid slowly. "You arranged for Anakin to be away all day, didn't you?"  
  
The knight felt suddenly ashamed and hid his gaze by staring at the floor.   
  
"It's all right, Obi-Wan. I'm not judging you. I was just curious. It seemed convenient that the day I arrive he's not with you."  
  
"I thought it would be easier for us to talk if Anakin was elsewhere. I don't think the council is pleased with me asking them to, in a sense, look after him for the day. But Master Yoda thought it best this way. So...how is your teaching job on Rahalan?"  
  
She could see the change in subject coming even before it did. "Oh, I love it, Obi-Wan. I really do. I am teaching younger children now, but it's very rewarding. And do they know how to keep me running. Much like you did when you were younger." Obi-Wan returned a short smile, but the lingering pain was evident.   
  
When Bren had heard about Qui-Gon's death, she knew that she had felt him die. The wave that rolled through the force was strong, and there was no doubt that she had just lost her dearest friend. One of her only concerns after that was to get back to Coruscant and do her best to comfort the grieving padawan that was left behind. Oh her way home from Rahalan she'd gotten the details of what had transpired. The battle with the Sith. Qui-Gon being struck down. Obi-Way slaying the dark creature. An apprentice much to young to be a master, taking on the chore of training the 'chosen one.' Obi-Wan was bright, strong and willing, but he was not ready to be a master. Bren wondered why the council had not stepped in and taken Anakin from him. Here was a knight fresh with grief, exhausted and worn, and they allowed him to train a boy with such a clouded future? **Look at the sadness in his face. The Obi-Wan I knew was never that way. He was always spirited and enjoying life. Now it hurts for him to even smile.**  
  
"Master Bren?" The accented voice brought her once again out of her thinking.  
  
"Oh, yes. I was lost in thought I guess. What were you saying?"  
  
"I was asking you how you've managed to deal with Master Qui-Gon's death so easily. You seem content, even...relaxed."  
  
She was thrown for a moment by the question. And hadn't thought about how her own ways of dealing with Qui-Gon's death might be thought of. "Obi-Wan, I miss him more than anyone, except you I think. If I seem content, it's only because I've been dealing with this for the last month. To tell you the truth, I spent a great deal of time crying alone in my quarters on the ship. Thinking about the past. Thinking about what he meant to me. About what you mean to me. I'm worried about you, Obi-Wan. I know what you are undertaking here is the most difficult thing you've ever been through. It shows on your face. Everything is so different from when I left. Everything is changed. I just want you to be okay."  
  
Obi-Wan was touched by the concern. Other than Taash and a couple other friends, no one had expressed much concern over the newly turned master. Most of the talk was about Anakin and the return of the Sith. Even the council seemed cold towards him. Not that he wanted everyone's attention and empty words of sorrow, but as the days went by, he felt more and more isolated from the Jedi. And that feeling of aloneness only added to the strain that existed between he and Anakin. To hear Bren's genuine affection and support almost brought him to tears.   
  
"You can cry with me, Obi-Wan. It's okay. We both lost our closest friend, it's normal to grieve."  
  
"I thought I had begun to come to terms with what had happened. But it's not getting better. There is no one for me to turn to any longer. Qui-Gon is dead. Taash is back and forth with missions. You are so far away on Rahalan. Master Yoda has offered his counsel but...this is so hard, Master Bren. I have to train Anakin. But I don't know if I can train him properly if I can't accept all that has happened. I don't know what to do anymore." Obi-Wan had leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees, and letting his face fall into his hands. He wanted to chastise himself for losing control of his emotions again, but they consumed him now.  
  
Bren reacted quickly, moving to his side and pulling him into her arms. With a gentle touch she rubbed a soothing hand in circles on his back. Holding him to her as she did when he was much younger and scared or hurt. "It's okay, Obi-Wan. It's okay. I'm here now." And as the minutes went by, she found herself crying with him. Together they grieved for what they had lost.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The young master lay asleep on the couch, his head cradled in Bren's lap. She stroked his hair with one hand while absently flipping through an old book of Qui-Gon's with the other. Her thoughts turned to Obi-Wan's future. He could not train this boy alone. But would he allow himself to ask for help? Would he admit that he is not prepared for an apprentice?   
  
**I know he promised you, Qui-Gon, but you had to know that he wasn't ready for this. Oh, he will never admit that completely. That damned pride of his will never allow him to. That stubbornness that you instilled in him. He made a promise to you, Qui-Gon. And you know he'll stand by that promise until his last breath. But why did you ask this of him? Why? Is this 'chosen one' worth all this? Do we even know if he is the chosen one? Can't you see that Obi-Wan is afraid of failure in this? The one thing in his life that frightened him more than anything, was that one day he might fail his training. That he might fail you. Yet you ask this of him when you know he's not prepared. He has your strength andhe has your defiance, no doubt, but I fear that won't be enough. I'll do my best to be there for him, but my teaching takes me so far away from Coruscant. I can only do so much. He's not ready for this, Qui-Gon. I only hope that the Force can lead him through.**  
  
Obi-Wan lay still for hours. He'd been able to reach a depth of sleep that had eluded him since the Naboo mission. Bren observed that the state he was in was so relaxed she had to check him several times to make sure he was breathing.   
  
**Obi-Wan, I wish I could help you more than I am. You need your friends in this. You need the support of those who are close to you. Taash, Jerra, Taj...all of them. Don't shut them out, Obi-Wan. You won't ask for help, but at least lean on those who offer comfort. It will make the future that awaits you less painful. And I'll always be here for you, Obi-Wan. Always. I promised Qui-Gon a long time ago that if anything ever happened to him, that I would look after you. As you hold your promise to him, I will do the same. At the very least, you won't ever be alone.**  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It was late afternoon when the door slid open to reveal Master Kloon and Anakin. Bren motioned quietly that it was okay for Anakin to come in. He'd seen his master sleeping so soundly on the couch next to her that he was unsure.  
  
"It's okay Anakin. You won't wake him. I feel he's not slept like this in a long time."  
  
"He's usually up in the middle of the night. Sometimes I see him reading out here or just sitting by the window, staring into space."  
  
"He'll be okay. How was your training today?"  
  
"It was great. I didn't know how much there was to learn. I'll make Master Obi-Wan proud of me though. He even said that in a few months, he'll take me to visit my mother. I really miss her. It's hard being away from her. I guess it's kind of what Master Obi-Wan feels now with Master Qui-Gon gone."  
  
"Yes, It's a similar pain. Perhaps it's something that you and Obi-Wan can share."  
  
The boy's face saddened as he shook his head. "No, I tried asking him about Master Qui-Gon. But he gets frustrated with me when I do. I don't think he wants to talk about things like that."  
  
Bren began stroking Obi-Wan's hair again as she addressed Anakin. "Give him time, Anakin. There is a lot he's dealing with that you don't know of. And it's all hitting him at once. Obi-Wan was very proud to have Qui-Gon as his master. From the time he was twelve, Qui-Gon was the one who raised him. To have that taken away so suddenly and in such a violent manner, is very painful. Obi-Wan is a good person. I've known him for many years. You two will have to give each other a chance and allow your relationship to develop as it's meant to. In time, he will talk to you about Qui-Gon. Don't worry." She smiled at him and was rewarded with a smile in return.  
  
"I like you, Master Bren," he said.   
  
"Thank you, Anakin. I like you too."  
  
"But I don't want to take a chance at disturbing my master's sleep. I'll be in my room."  
  
She nodded as he walked away then turned her attention back to the young knight asleep in her lap. Obi-Wan stirred briefly to readjust his head before falling into deep sleep again. "Rest as long as you need, Obi-Wan. I'll see to Anakin if needed. Just rest."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As the sun slipped behind the Coruscant horizon, Obi-Wan's tired eyes slowly opened. It took him a moment to realize where he was and who was with him. Then he felt a soothing hand on his head. "Master Bren?"  
  
"I'm here, Obi-Wan. Welcome back."  
  
Obi-Wan made no attempt to get up just yet. "How long was I asleep?"  
  
"Oh, most of the afternoon and evening. You needed that though. How do you feel?"  
  
"I feel rested." He paused for a moment before realization hit and he pulled himself into an upright position. "Anakin, I forgot all about him...I..."  
  
"Relax. He's in his bedroom, he's fine. You're not neglecting him. He and I had a very nice conversation. I think Kloon wore him out though. He looked exhausted when he came home," she laughed. "I would wager that he's sound asleep right about now."  
  
Obi-Wan felt the obligation to look in on his apprentice just to be sure. Indeed, Anakin was curled up on the bed, snoring softly. Obi-Wan returned to the couch to find it empty. Bren had retreated to the kitchen to fix them something to eat.   
  
"I told you he was okay. What are your plans for tomorrow, Obi-Wan?"  
  
He wandered into the kitchen. "I don't think I can pawn Anakin off on anyone else, can I? I was hoping that you and I could spend the day together like we did today. Only this time, I don't sleep the entire time. But I need to get back into training. Anakin needs consistency if he's to be the Jedi that Qui-Gon wished him to be. It's my job to see that it happens."  
  
"Stop it, Obi-Wan," she said as she placed a hand on his. "You don't have to go at this full-tilt all the time. I'm sure Anakin will be the same Jedi no matter who he trains with tomorrow. Give yourself a break. Let me speak with Master Yoda and see if I can't arrange another day for you. I'm sure he'll give me his backwards lecture about how he never got a break when he was training padawans, but I think I can convince him to let the council handle Anakin for one more day."  
  
"They don't even approve of me training him. This will just compound the despise they have for me."  
  
Bren grinned as she recalled memories of Qui-Gon. "To much of Qui-Gon they see in you. He was a thorn in their side for so long. Now they see the same thing in his apprentice. Unfortunate for them, but a strength for you. Don't let them bother you. Here, you finish up the cooking, I shall return."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
When she returned an hour later, Bren was grinning broadly. "He is a stubborn old troll, but believe it or not, he's agreed. Anakin will train with Master Adi tomorrow. He said it would be good for Anakin to be exposed to other masters anyway. So, you and I have a date!"   
  
Success. She'd gotten him to smile. "Then I accept. Where shall we go?"  
  
"Let's have some dinner, you get a good night's rest and we will talk about that tomorrow morning."  
  
"You can stay here tonight. I'll take the couch, you can have my bedroom. I couldn't have you staying in guest quarters."  
  
"Thank you, Obi-Wan."  
  
Before turning in for the evening, Obi-Wan stole one last peek at his apprentice. An action that did not go unnoticed by Bren. Deep down there was part of Obi-Wan that wanted so desperately to care for this boy. But the young master's aching and uncertain heart refused to allow that to happen. She could see the wall that had formed between them. She could feel it. And could only hold out hope that once Obi-Wan learned to deal with his own tangled emotions, he would let Anakin find his true place in his life.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Morning dawned. Master Adi arrived early for Anakin. Bren was pleased to see that Anakin seemed good-natured about training with members of the council. Never short on questions, he began interrogating Adi almost as soon as she entered the apartment. Unable to hide her amusement, Bren laughed quietly. Adi was not amused and glared at both masters on her way out. The same look that Obi-Wan recalled Qui-Gon being the recipient of so many times before.   
  
Once Adi was gone, Bren just shook her head. "It must be a prerequisite to getting a seat on the council. You aren't allowed to be in possession of a sense of humor. She's not a fan of yours, kid. That much is for sure."  
  
Obi-Wan grinned a bit. Not only at the memory of all the evil glares that the council had given his master over the years, but also at Bren's use of the affectionate title, 'kid.' She used to call him that quiet often when he was younger. A time when his life was much simpler. A time when things weren't so complex and painful. He longed for those days now. As a padawan, he wanted nothing more than to be a Jedi Knight. His own missions. His own accomplishments. Never dreaming that knighthood would be what he was living now.   
  
**I miss you, Master. When I need your guidance the most, you're not here to offer it. I am so uncertain about the future. So uncertain. I wish you were here with me. I wish I could hear your voice once more. I wish I could feel the gentle tug on my braid again. Your way of saying that you were proud of me. Surely you aren't proud of me now, Master. I feel I am failing you already. And so soon after your death. But somehow I will find a way to fulfill the promise I made. I will not allow myself to fail you anymore than I already have, Master. I cannot allow that. It would be a dishonor to the man that I trained with for so many years. I just...I miss you.**  
  
A soothing hand took his own and Obi-Wan's mind was brought back to the present.   
  
"Obi-Wan?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry, Master Bren. I was..."  
  
"Thinking about Qui-Gon. I know. It's okay. We have an entire day to spend together. What's first?"  
  
Obi-Wan hung his head, nervously biting his bottom lip. There was one thing that he needed help with more than anything. But he thought it foolish to ask.   
  
Before he could say anything, Bren broke in. "First of all, stop calling me, Master Bren. I told you before, you don't need that title any longer," she playfully said. "Second, you have something in mind, but you're scared to ask, right? Maybe I would think less of you if you asked for help with this particular problem?"  
  
He nodded shortly.   
  
"Let's see, one of your greatest struggles as an apprentice was trying to mediate when your emotions were at an elevated level. And you are having the same problem since Qui-Gon died." She forced him to meet her gaze. "Am I close?"  
  
He nodded once more. "Yes." His voice was quiet and filled with what Bren sensed to be shame.   
  
"We all have those nagging problems that follow us from our padawan days. Everyone struggles with something. Even Qui-Gon. I would guess that your mind this past month has been anything but peaceful. That's understandable, Obi-Wan. How long since you've had a successful meditation period?"  
  
Thinking back, Obi-Wan recalled the final hours before he and Qui-Gon's fateful meeting with the Sith. His master sat with him in a quiet area of the ship. Together they found a peace rarely reached before. It had always been easier for Obi-Wan to meditate in the presence of his teacher. He'd learn and grow from each experience. But he never found the oneness with the Force that Qui-Gon did. "Just before his death," he answered. "That was the last time. Since then I have tried, Master Bren. I have tried. But it's so difficult. More painful that I ever remember it being."  
  
An idea came to her and she took Obi-Wan's arm, leading him into the bedroom. She picked up the rock that Qui-Gon had given him on his birthday years ago and pressed it into the rough hand. "Hold that close to you. Never let it go." They she took his hand and they hurried from the apartment.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Obi-Wan knew the path they took. He knew it very well. It led through the gardens to a place just beyond the largest waterfall. This was Qui-Gon's favorite place to find peace with the Force. They had mediated here many times before, both alone and together. And immediately Obi-Wan felt himself relax. The Force was strong where he stood as memories of he and his master's hours here came flooding back.   
  
"This is where he first brought me to practice deep mediation. I think I just sat there and stared at him the entire two hours amazed at how the Force surrounded him. Almost in awe of the peace he'd achieved. It was so easy for him. Why is it so difficult for me to achieve the same?" He sat down on the lush grass not to far from the stream that flowed away from the fall. The birthday stone he then pulled from his pocket and clutched tightly.   
  
There was a brief touch to his mind that made him stop suddenly and catch his breath. "Master?" The touch was gone as quickly as it had come.  
  
"What is it, Obi-Wan? Bren asked as she sat on the grass next to him.   
  
He shook his head. "Nothing, it's...I thought I felt something. It felt familiar and it felt comforting. I don't know, just my mind playing tricks on me. Ever since he died, I keep thinking I hear his voice instructing me...leading me. But I know it's not him. Just my memories."  
  
"But you did feel something more this time. It felt real?"  
  
The young knight nodded. "Yes. Do you think...no, I can't keep looking back. I have to move forward. I am a Jedi Master now. I need to act like one. I can't keep hoping to hear his voice or yearning for one last lesson. I must move beyond it."  
  
"I suppose you do. After all, Jedi do not embrace emotion, right? There is no love, no anger, no hate. There is only the Force. Tell me something Obi-Wan, did Qui-Gon ever once in his life tell you not to embrace emotion? Did he condemn you for laughing or for feeling sorrow? Did he chastise you for crying when you lost a friend?" Bren's voice was strong and determined. She was not about to give up on Obi-Wan. She loved him to much for that.  
  
"No. He was always supportive. He encouraged me to feel the emotions, but to not allow them to consume me completely."  
  
"So then why do you still try so hard to hide them? You've always done it. Even as a young apprentice. Yesterday you permitted yourself to cry. Did it feel wrong? Did it feel like Qui-Gon would be ashamed of you for giving in?"   
  
"It...it was a relief. Something I had held in for much to long I think. But I can't continue to give in as I did. I have a mission. A promise..."  
  
Bren had had enough. She moved around and kneeled in front of Obi-Wan, looking directly into his glassy eyes. "Enough with the promise. I understand that you have this desperate need to obey this one final request from your master. Perhaps you are afraid of failure or perhaps you are trying to avoid the emotions that you truly feel about Anakin. I don't know. But you have to stop this, Obi-Wan. I can feel the tension in you. Hear it in your words. You are acting against everything that Qui-Gon taught you. I know how proud he was of you. I know that he would not have entrusted Anakin to you if he did not have confidence in your abilities. Qui-Gon knew you better than you know yourself. And while on the outside you may think yourself ready to train Anakin, on the inside you are so full of grief, so full of confusion and uncertainty that you cannot accept the fact that you are not ready for what Qui-Gon has asked of you. How can you be? You are a new knight. Your master was struck down in front of you. He died in your arms. The council was against him training Anakin, as they are against you training him. Yet they allow it to happen. You made a promise, but you are not ready." Her eyes still locked with his, she awaited his response.  
  
"I can train him. I can and I will. You don't understand. I have to do this. I will not fail my master. I will not fail him." His head dropped as he struggled to regain the control he was about to lose. After a few moments passed, he looked into Bren's eyes again. "Can you help me, Master Bren? Will you mediate with me?"  
  
She smiled. Getting Obi-Wan to admit he needed help with anything was always a mission in itself. There was no way she would refuse him. "Of course I will, Obi-Wan."  
  
Nodding his thanks, he tried to settle back down. Bren sat beside him once more, watching as he closed his eyes and held a death grip on the stone in his hand. Then she too closed her eyes, and both Jedi opened themselves to the Force.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
When Obi-Wan opened his eyes almost two hours later, he smiled and wiped several tears from his face. "It was him. I felt him. Just for a brief time, but it was Qui-Gon."  
  
"He'll always be with you. You just have to know where to find him."  
  
"And my meditation was refreshing. I know what I have to do now. Anakin will be a Jedi."  
  
Bren sighed in frustration. **So stubborn. Just like your master.** She didn't reply and Obi-Wan studied her face, almost as if he was waiting for a challenge. A challenge that didn't come. She'd said her peace, and one thing she learned about Kenobi a long time ago. The more you push him, the further he withdraws. The subject of Anakin was dropped. "Did he say anything to you?"  
  
"No. No words, just a feeling. A touch to our bond, then he was gone." Obi-Wan was smiling again. And it seemed a genuine expression rather than a forced one. "I think he wanted me to know that he was okay."  
  
Taking his hand in her own, Bren tried to encourage the mood. "The Force will care for him, Obi-Wan. I'm glad you felt his touch. Maybe it was his way of saying goodbye."  
  
The smile turned down and Obi-Wan's eyes fell. Bren cursed herself for her words. "I'm sorry, Obi-Wan. I didn't..."  
  
"No, it's all right. I have to accept his death and the events that surrounded it. I know he cared about me, even if there was no formal goodbye. There were only seconds and he had to be sure that Anakin would be trained. I understand. He said enough with his eyes for me to know what he felt about me." He paused and took a deep breath as he changed the subject again. "Can we go get some lunch?"  
  
"I could go for something good. What do you suggest?"  
  
"Anything. I just have to get my mind off of things."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Bren tried to make the rest of the day as relaxing as she could for Obi-Wan. He seemed in better spirits as the hours passed, but there was still a sadness there that was clouding him. To others he may have looked fine, but she knew differently. She could see the weight of the galaxy had descended onto the shoulders of this one young knight. And her heart went out to him. But she was also angry with him for refusing the help that she knew he needed. This was the greatest test of Obi-Wan life. Qui-Gon would not be here to guide him. She feared what the future would bring if Obi-Wan continued on the path he was on now. There was little else she could do however without pushing him away. Her presence over the last two days, she hoped, was what he needed to begin to move away from the grief.   
  
They spent that evening on the balcony of the temple overlook. A place where they both had spent time with Qui-Gon watching the Coruscant sunsets.   
  
"It's very beautiful, isn't it, Master Bren?" He remarked as his eyes stayed focused on the last of the suns reaching rays.  
  
"It is. Obi-Wan, please stop calling me Master Bren. It makes me feel old."  
  
He looked at her briefly, a small hint of that quirky Kenobi smile highlighting his tanned face. "Sorry, old habits die hard I guess. But that's what you've always been to me. The first time that Qui-Gon introduced me to you, I remember you called me kid, ruffled my hair and told me if I ever needed anything, you'd be there for me. And you always were. My Master Bren. I can't call you anything else. That's what you are to me."  
  
Bren tried unsuccessfully to stop the tears that began falling. Her pathetic attempts made Obi-Wan laugh. A sound she had not heard come from him since she'd returned to Coruscant. "Now, that is the Obi-Wan I remember." The old spark returned to his eyes, if only for a few short moments. "Of course you are laughing at me while I am crying. That's not very nice."  
  
"No, it's not. I'm sorry."  
  
"I'm kidding, Obi-Wan. It's just nice to know you are still able to laugh. That exultant boy I used to know is still in there."  
  
"Yes, but he hides himself well."  
  
"I miss him." Her words penetrated and Obi-Wan grinned.   
  
"I'll try to keep him a bit more visible then."  
  
Small hints of the Obi-Wan she had come to love so much as an apprentice were finally making their way into the man who was now a master. It gave her a good feeling that Obi-Wan could begin to move on with his life. That he could move beyond Qui-Gon's death.  
  
"Come on, you'd better get home. Anakin is due back in a few minutes. Can't keep Master Adi waiting to long. Unless you want to see that evil glare again. Let's go."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Arriving back at the apartment, Obi-Wan was greeted immediately by his apprentice. Anakin jumped from the couch and began talking animatedly about his training that day. Master Adi made a quick departure soon after. Obi-Wan had to work to settle the boy who wanted to be sure that every detail of the day was replayed to his master. Bren remembered years ago...another apprentice and his master in much the same situation. An apprentice who was so determined to make his master proud, that at times the effort overwhelmed them both. **Always afraid of failure. Always afraid that Qui-Gon was not proud of your accomplishments. Always trying to please you, Qui-Gon. That's all he ever tried to do. I know you were proud of him. Why does he still fear that rejection? You did tell him, Qui-Gon? You did tell him how proud you were of him, didn't you?**  
  
Anakin left the room to get cleaned up while Obi-Wan studied Bren's face. She shook her head as if coming out of a dream and met his gaze.  
  
"Thinking of the past, aren't you?"  
  
"Yes. About you. About Qui-Gon. I miss him very much, Obi-Wan. More than I ever thought possible," she replied sadly.   
  
"I know. We still have each other though. Maybe that's enough."  
  
"I have to head back to Rahalan tomorrow. I wish I could stay longer, but it's two weeks away by standard transport. I stretched my leave time as far as I could."  
  
"I thought maybe you'd be leaving soon. You've been a great comfort to me, Master Bren. I hope you know how much your presence here has meant. You're the only one, other than Qui-Gon that I would have ever trusted my life with." He walked over towards the couch and pulled out a drawer from the small stand there. Handing her a small data-pad, he said, "I know we can't communicate by comm-link or radio, but we can write. Once a week, just to keep tabs on each other. And to support each other."  
  
She reached out and took the device from his hand. "And for those times when you need a friend, but can't bring yourself to reach for one."  
  
He nodded. "Agreed."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Obi-Wan stood in the docking bay with Anakin, just as they had two days ago when the transport ship carrying Master Bren touched down. Now they were there to see it depart. All bags loaded, Bren stood before the pair of younger Jedi. She knelt down in front of Anakin.   
  
"You look after your master now, understand? I don't want anything to happen to him."  
  
"Yes, Master Bren. I will. Have a safe trip."  
  
"I hope to, Anakin. Thank you." Then she stood and faced the other. "Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. I miss you already." Opening her arms she folded Obi-Wan into a loving embrace. "Take things slow, Obi-Wan. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. And remember that I love you."  
  
Eyes already wet, Obi-Wan held her as tight as he could. Never wanting to let go. "I love you too, Master Bren. I promise to keep in touch. But I have to focus on our training. I won't fail my master."  
  
"All you can do is try your best. He's always been proud of you, Obi-Wan. As long as you try, you will never fail him."  
  
"I can train Anakin. I know I can. I have to."  
  
"I know. But don't push yourself to hard. Seek the Force for comfort. Call on your friends for support." She released the embrace and took his hands in hers. They held each other's eyes for a moment. "Qui-Gon always said he'd foreseen that you would be a great Jedi Knight. May the Force be with you, Obi-Wan Kenobi."  
  
He smiled sadly through his tears as he said his final goodbye. "And with you. Thank you for everything."  
  
Her compact form disappeared into the ship. Obi-Wan quickly wiped the tears from his eyes and cheeks. There was no other movement from him until the ship was no longer visible with the naked eye. "Goodbye, Master Bren," he whispered before collecting himself and turning his attention back to his apprentice. He was determined to train Anakin to his full ability. Time for serious training was upon them.  
  
"Anakin, come. I think I should teach you the importance of deep mediation today. I'll show you where Master Qui-Gon and I used to practice it."  
  
Obi-Wan put a hand on Anakin's shoulder and led him towards the gardens. He had no idea what the future held for him or for his apprentice. He wanted to bond with the boy. He wanted them to share the same kind of close friendship as he and his own master had shared for so many years. But then the words he'd spoken to Qui-Gon about Anakin made their way back to him.   
  
**The boy is dangerous. They all sense it. Why can't you?**  
  
He still felt that. There was something about Anakin Skywalker that was indeed dangerous. For whatever reason, the Force had pushed Qui-Gon to take Anakin from his home and train him as a Jedi. Obi-Wan recalled how desperate Qui-Gon's last words were. He had to know that the boy would be trained. At that moment, Obi-Wan would have promised his master anything. So much he wanted to comfort Qui-Gon in his final moments. He accepted this responsibility. He had made a promise. And he would not fail his master, no matter what his true feelings about Anakin. This was a task that he must do on his own. Yet his own thoughts betrayed his determination.   
  
**I will train him, Master. However, I cannot promise you that I will not fail in the end. But I can promise you that I will give everything of myself to make sure Anakin becomes a Jedi. In the end, if I do fail, I wish for your forgiveness. I can't do this alone, but I must. And I will. This will be the most difficult test of my life. There is still something about Anakin that I do not trust. Something...dark perhaps. I will not allow that to deter me. I am strong, and I learned from one of the best. I shall never forget your teachings, Master. I shall never forget you. Anakin will be a Jedi. I promise. And I will make you proud.**  
  
END 


End file.
